Life has just been one big dream?October 28, 2015
Have you ever realised you are dreaming whilst having a dream? You usually wake up if you do. For the lucky minority they can continue dreaming and create their own universe; lucid dreaming. For my experience with Salvia mine relates to the first of the two.
I purchased Salvia from an online store. My first time and i bought (stupidly) x60. I was meant to keep this virgin experience for company toke between my best friend (experienced drug user) and my self (somewhat amateur drug user). Though always surrounded by mind altering drugs due to my friend circle i have never actually participated that often. Anyway, in a spontaneous surge of independence i wanted to the be the first out of my group of friends to use Salvia.
Holding the packet i issued my respects to Salvia, respecting all plants, i then placed her down resting in her packet among my garden of plants upon my desk. Resting on my bed my eye would wander looking at the patch of plants, a jungle green sitting there on the table hiding the gateway to another universe. The thought of the gate to the new universe contained within the packet was too much. I discarded all willpower to hold off waiting for my friends to arrive and i opened the packet, poured a majestically large amount of Salvia into my pipe, scampered into my flatmates room and crouched into the corner and began to smoke. I held my breath and exhaled after what seemed like 30 seconds. Watching the smoke evaporate into the air was what i can last remember of that period. the smoke digitalised and i found what i believed was my self in open space.
Blackness everywhere. Just pure void, nothing else. This was what was before the “big bang”. Imagine trying to contemplate what was before existence? Well i was sitting there waiting. Waiting for the “cue”. And then there it was. All of a sudden i exploded and began rumbling through this space, behind me gas conjoined together and eventually i began to see planets. I continued until i came to halt. Looking i saw blackness with a bright orange horizon emerging. Here it was, existence. I realised i was God. Or at least this universes creator. I began to question my own creation. I just created the universe so what created me? Instantly i slumped through the darkness. God cannot have a creator for God is to be infinite. I was no God, i was a lie. Then i rationalized having brief flash backs of my life, was it all just a dream? I had actually believed that my 20 years of life were compacted into a single nights sleep. I was another being that had dreamed i was Human. No, i was the demi god who dreamt he was human. That’s the easiest way to justify it. I simply dreamed. Or what if. what if in one last favour god tried to trick me into believing all this, what if i were actually Dead and God was protecting me trying to deny me the fact that i was dead. I was dead. All of a sudden i remember being stuck in a block of houses, lying on the road people approached me on bikes looking at this human alien. They were frightened. A black obelisk exploded through the floor and i was staring up at it. I remember holding my pipe and looking at it thinking “What the fuck is this artifact”. I was in wonder of the humans. I, an alien. was in awe of humans. for in my mind aliens were what we humans view our selves an humans what we humans view aliens. See what i mean?
The rest is boring, unless you consider me shouting for help stuck in the corner with my flatmate unaware of my smoking event freaking out at me. I thought i was on fire.
This has been the most beautiful experience and mind fucking scenario i will and ever participate in. Don’t get me wrong i am not suicidal and i love life. Or my perception of life, but i am looking forward to the day i actually die, comfortably awaiting it. not rushing it but embracing the inevitability that it will happen. Or will it? Will i simply “Wake up” and realize that the last 75 years of my life was just a dream and continue living my life as my true identity occasionally laughing whilst cruising about in my spaceship at just how ridiculous i am for believing my dream was real life. I could wake up any minute now. none of you exist you’re all just dreams.