First time
Very intense
by Nick
Last night I went with my very good friends to hang out with a friend of ours. In this report I'll refer to him as "T". T is basically a role model for our group of close friends. He is very experienced with various entheogenic substances and can be considered a type of "urban shaman" I guess. I wasn't necessarilly planning on trying Salvia that night, but I have been wanting to try it for a while, and when i heard we were going to chill with T, I thought I should probably try it.
When everybody was getting their weed out to smoke, I asked T if I could try some Salvia, and he said of course. he then asked me if I had ever experienced Salvia before, and I told him that I have not, in fact I have not experienced any psychedelics or entheogens, except for cannabis, is that counts. He then got busy trying to create the perfect scenario for me, so that I could have an enjoyable time. he got his bubbler out and his 30x Salvia extract, and began instructing me on what to do. So I sat down on next to him on the couch and began to take the hit. After the experience, T told me that he was surprised at how well I was able to take such a large hit. I remember taking the hit, holding it in for a little bit and then exhaling and saying to my friends, "whoa I think im feeling it", and then all of a sudden my surroundings and reality ceased to exist. I found myself in a very weird place. In the beginning I was still able to recognize T's apartment, but just barely, and it wasn't T's apartment in my mind at this time. It was kind of like a pre school classroom. There was a lady in front of me who I thought was the preschool teacher. I then noticed these weird boxy card things moving all around me, almost as if they were on an assembly line or a conveyer belt. i the felt, for some reason that I had to stick my hands into the slots on these cards, or something bad would happen. So i spent a little while trying to catch each card and fit my hands into them. I then looked up at the teacher and recognized i was still in a classroom type setting, but it was almost factory like, although very childish, like a preschool play factory or something like that, thats how i can describe it. i then remember seeing hands coming out from underneath the couch i was sitting on, and I remember thinking that my classmates were trying to play some sick joke on me.
Then the teacher turned into one of the puppet characters from Sesame street. He was trying to tell me something, and I had a feeling that i needed to follow his directions, to achieve some goal, but I didnt know what it was. i needed to do this or something bad would happen, but i didnt know what to do, I couldnt understand the character. Then at this moment the scene changed briefly. i saw a curtain and looked behind it. There were people running around, panicking as if they were part of some show or set or something. This reminded me of the movie the Truman Show with jim carrey and this really freaked me out. I had such an immense feeling that this was reality. I felt as if my whole life had been a hoax, a joke, the product of some evil conspiracy, that I was just a puppet in a sick show. I remember thinking that it wasnt fair, and I started to bug out a little bit. i remember yelling out at this point "WHAT THE F***!" I had no control of my life. This character and the teacher were laughing at me almost, and they were trying to get me to do something that I didn't want to do.
Then I saw the sesame street character again and he was urgent this time. From his expressions and from a weird force that i felt I found out that I needed to move upwards in order to move on, or else I would be stuck, I would lose the game, it felt very much like a video game, or that I would die. So I reluctantly complied with this force and moved upwards. At this point I think I started to come back to reality a little bit, because i could tell that I was standing on T's coffee table, trying to climb his bookshelf, but i still thought I would gain access to some other level or realm if I just opened that door in the ceiling, although there was no door. I then went back to the couch and was able to recognize T's face. He was talking to me, trying to soothe me I guess, or guide me through the experience. I started to feel an amazing rush of gratitude towards him, because he was being very, very helpful. I then came back to the point where I recognized that i was in T's apartment, sitting on his couch, listening to him talk to me, telling me that in another 10 minutes I would be completely back to normal. This is when I started to be able to converse with him, and when he saw this, he smiled and said "You have just experienced a state of consciousness that very few beings on this planet have ever been able to experience." and this just gave me a feeling of elation, joy and pride. It made me feel good about myself. He then told me about one of his experiences and how he started spewing out words in Hebrew, although he doesnt know Hebrew and thought he went to Hell for thousands of years.
After this I started to come back to normal almost completely, although I still felt some sort of body high or buzz. T then told me that I handled the powerful psychedelic experience very well, and that he was impressed with my ability to control it or experience it. He then said that I was in a state of mind that made me ready for DMT even. I felt flattered, for this coming from someone so experienced, although I did not agree with him. The Salvia experience, was not necessarily scary, but it was really weird and confusing. I was able to handle it pretty well actually though. I never came to a state of pure terror or panic, just very nervous, apprehensive, and eventually willing to comply to with whatever the Salvia wanted to do with me, although reluctantly.
So my first Salvia experience was intense, very intense, and it was not at all what i was expecting. During the actual experience, I cannot say that I was liking it or enjoying it, but looking back I am very glad that I did do it and that I experienced something so abstract like that. I think I needed to experience something like that, just so I could know something more about myself I guess. It was very confusing, a little freaky at at times, very abstract and just plain weird, but it was also interesting and worthwhile. i now have a new understanding of consciousness, and the world around me. I dont know if I will ever try Salvia again, and definitely not any time soon, but I am glad that I did it, and came out with a story to tell.