General
Folds of Metal
by Andrew
White folds of metal, and everything else blackness. The folds of metal sway to the right with forcefulness. Looking at them, but at the same time part of them. The white folds sway to the left with the same shutter and same manner that they had folded to the right with. This is painful. Is this existence? Tried to control the white folds of metal. Made them shift back to the right again, only this time bigger. Felt some relief, because had some sort of control. Wanted existence to at least be familiar. Suddenly, the white folds of metal were part of a familiar building. At least am part of a building. This is somewhat familiar. But they were still shifting back and forth, and was still part of it. Could not get free. Did not want existence to be just this. On the side of one of the folds of metal was a park picnic table. The table began to become more alive, and hope and relief began to swell. But this park picnic table was just a small part of existence, and the folds of metal that shuttered back and forth were what mattered. Finally, the park picnic table became more real than the metal folds visually, and I sensed my body, and I tried so hard to force myself up from off the table. As I became more visually aware of the park and the streets and the houses that surrounded me in the daytime, mentally I still felt like the folds of metal were all that mattered, and were the true reality, and that this was just a small part of reality. I kept half expecting to be thrown back into the real world again as part of this giant white folds of metal in this black void. At on point, to my dismay, I was thrown back in. I pulled myself up again. Gradually, I began to remember my name, who I am, my personality, my history, this reality of the world and life as I knew it before. By this time I had gotten up, and I was struggling to walk the sidewalk back home, completely off balance, loathing the fact that this was just a minor reality in the true reality that was the folds of metal. That spot on the bench where that dark vision was felt like my origin, my birthplace. I wanted to get away from there.
I walked by this woman who was walking her dogs, and I mumbled "Hi, how's it going?" "Hey," she said with a smile. I was still so off balance and still in this loathing state of mind. I gradually became aware that I had just smoked salvia, and I kept thinking to myself, I never want to do that again, because I don't want to know about true reality, if that is what it is.
As I walked back home, I ever so slowly regained my gravity, but I was paranoid at everyone that I walked by, wondering if they knew what I just did. Somewhere in that walk I became conscious that I had a bowl and a lighter in my hand, and I kept debating what pocket I should put them in. I didn't want to put them in my coat, because I was wearing my mom's coat, and I would forget them. I took the coat off because I was sweating so profusely. I kept wondering if the people were even real. Out of everything in this small existence, the people seemed the most likely to not be real.
When I got home, I was still in this loathing state of consciousness, slowly trying to get rid of the notion that those horrid folds of metal were true existence. It was almost like I had to force my mind to mentally come back, to make this world my reality again. I had just gotten in the door, and my mom asked me what I had been doing. I told her I was cleaning my car and then I went to the park. The right side of my brain was still heavy and felt warm (this was the side my body I kept wanting to fall over on) and when I spoke to my mom, I was very paranoid, and thought she knew for some reason. When I talked, I could sense that slightest mumbled lisp that was still in my voice from the salvia, and wondered if she sensed it. I walked by her while we were talking, because all I wanted to do was lay on the couch, and I was scared she might have smelled my breath. When I laid down, I took my socks off, and as I slowly came to grips with the responsibilities of life, I came to terms with the fact that I was just tripping really hard earlier, and the white folds were not all there were to existence. For instance, I just thought how we had to leave in a little bit, and I knew I had to sober up to drive. Thoughts like that made this reality more real, and as a result, as time passed, I became more and more relieved.
By the time we all got in our separate cars, and I was in mine waiting to follow my dad in his, I was finally back at peace with life, knowing I was ok, and not freaking out that maybe I could have gone braindead. I was no longer off balance, I still felt somewhat slow, but I knew my mind was coming back, and I kept thinking NEVER AGAIN!
This was on 35x salvia. I had smoked 5x with my friend before. He tripped a little. I just laughed different than I had ever laughed before, and spit A LOT. Second time was with him again, this time 35x. He tripped a lot, but I just felt like the whole world had been tilted left, and I kept wanting to fall on my right side. Two days later I smelled it in my car and saw that there was still some left over that had not been burnt in the bowl, so I decided I was going to get a trip, period. I walked to the park and sat on a picnic table bench, held the flame over it for a while breathing in hard, letting the oxygen hit, breathing in harder. I determined to hold it in til I would trip, and I closed my eyes. The first thing I saw was white lights going up my eyelids, and I never remember letting it out. I think I passed out for a second. The whole time I was tripping I felt saliva on my lips, but I was so far gone that I didn't know there was saliva on my lips until later.